Women. Aren't They Stupid.

Right, so today after having spent the morning wrapping presents, and the afternoon having tea with Charolastra No.1 I sat down to watch a bit of telly (Michael Buble Christmas Special - yum. Michael Buble has that clean-cut well groomed butter-wouldn't-melt look that says "I'm such a good guy, all mothers everywhere will adore me"- but he has a twinkle in his eyes and a sideways smile that says "Behind closed doors, I would do so many naughty things to you" - and I would let you, Bubbles, oh how I would let you..)

Anyway, I'm watching the telly - and an advert comes on for some board game that you can "buy now and receive in time for Christmas!" Now, I had never heard of this game but my ears pricked up, my spidey senses tingled, and I knew immediately that this was something I would find myself ranting about. The game was called His and Hers. The advert went something like this:

So already, you know where I'm going with this, right?

Well, rather than launch into a full on rant, I will just transcribe the advert for you (I think it speaks for itself, but I'd like to be clear..)

ADVERT 1

Man: What does a sweeper do on a football team?

Woman: Clean the dressing room?

*A mop & bucket falls on Woman's head*

Man: Early bath for you..

Voiceover: Ahh silly women, they never understand football.

ADVERT 2

Woman: Heat, More and Now - are words associated with what?

Man: ..Cooking?

*Woman hits man over the head with a frying pan*

Woman: Do you want seconds?

Voiceover: Ahh women, always in the kitchen reading trashy magazines. No wonder they can't come up with a decent one-liner.

ADVERT 3

Man: How does Bond like his Martini served?

Woman: Quickly?

*Man throws Martini over Woman*

Man: What's the matter, you look.. shaken.

Voiceover: Bond. He makes hilarious quips before he throws things at women.

"HIS AND HERS: A GAME THAT CELEBRATES OUR DIFFERENCES."

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Right so admittedly, the voiceover parts I may have added myself. But, that is basically what they are saying. The advert I watched actually wasn't either of these - it was a Star Wars one. So you can imagine my cheery amusement at that one. It went a little like this:

Man: I'm asking you a really obvious question about Star Wars.

Woman: Oh, I wouldn't know that, because I'm a woman so I only watch Titanic and The Notebook. On a loop, all day, in between painting my nails and brushing my hair. Because I'm a fucking moron, it would appear.

Voiceover: Women. Aren't they stupid.

---

Now, I'm not going to do it - I'm not. Honestly, I'm not. I've already just written furious spitting paragraphs on the many, many, many problems with the sexism that is so shamelessly rife in popular tv and film culture alone, and had to delete them all. The reason is that I've promised myself I will not do an angry feminist rant, because that just perpetuates the stereotype of the angry irrational woman (not that it matters if she happens to be right - she's over-reacting, and probably on her period. Sorry, I also swore that I wouldn't be passive aggressive - but if I'm not going to let myself be aggressive, I have to let the gorram fury out somehow!)

Anyway, I looked it up on Amazon - if I wasn't so broke, I would have bought it just so that I could ridicule and pull it apart on this blog, in greater detail.. But as it is, I am broke, and it costs £25. If I ever find it on Ebay for under a tenner, I will buy it and let you know.

But, here's what I found on Amazon..

Product Description

His and Hers - This latest addition to the fantastic Logo family brings a humorous new twist to the great debate - are we really that different? If you play His and Hers you'll find the answer is a hilarious YES!

Product Description

Men are endlessly mystified about the contents of a woman's handbag, their wardrobe and what they read in their magazines... equally, women don't understand a man's need for gadgets, power tools and their obsession with sport. The His and Hers board game is a celebration of our differences as seen through everyday things. Divide your friends into single sex teams, and have some FUN celebrating what makes women women and men men. 

Right, I'm not being funny, but is it the Nineties? Are we actually back in the nineties with post-Carry On / pre-Girl Power, Men=Football+Beer / Women=Boobs+Shoes ??

What I read there in that description is Men = sports, gadgets, power tools, Women = handbag, wardrobe, magazines. Tag words that were rife in popular culture in the nineties, but were laughed out in the naughties as old fashioned sexist caricatures. Or so we'd thought. 

Although wait, I don't even need to read the description, as they've spelled it out loud and clear on the box:

Lets have a closer look on what is placed on the 'His' Section, and on the 'Hers' Section - ie. what signifies 'man' and what signifies 'woman' (beyond blue and pink, obviously) 

His: Football --- Hers: Nail Polish
His: Pint of Beer --- Hers: Cocktail
(a glass of wine for the lady, a beer for the gent)
His: A Tie --- Hers: A Neck Tie

(!!! - presumably for when she's handing out tea and wet cloths on airplanes, to men in their suits, on their business trips)
His: Yorkie Bar --- Hers: A Galaxy Bar
His: An Electric Screwdriver --- Hers: A Hairdryer
His: A Spanner --- Hers: A Blusher Brush
His: Brogues --- Hers: Pink Stiletto Heels
His: Boxer Shorts --- Hers: Sexy Knickers
and my personal favourite...
His: A Wallet (!!) --- Hers: A Handbag 
(A handbag which presumably her husband has bought her. Seeing as he has the wallet.)

So there we have it. His and Hers. A hilaaarious celebration of our differences.

I'm laughing so much I had to put down my hairdryer and nearly spilt my nail polish over my copy of Heat magazine.