Right, so, you see that??
So the article is as follows: Empire, whilst on the Sherlock set, had a quick chat with Benedict Cumberbatch, who is in the Hobbit, and therefore is privy to certain information, and can reveal certain things - and he obviously did exactly that - revealed something about the film in said conversation.
Now, rather than use that information to sensationalistically drum up noise by giving away what could be important plot points, or acting/visual sfx treats in the film, Empire have prefixed their article with this sentence, which I love: 'The following is both complete conjecture and a possible spoiler for The Hobbit, so please think carefully before continuing."
I love this sentence.
Please think carefully, and consider whether you actually want to know this potential news.. If you don't, then just skip past, we don't mind. But if you do, then go ahead, by all means read on. We have just momentarily stopped you at the entrance, just to make sure you definitely want to be here, and you are aware of the situation. It's no bother, its our responsibility. Honestly, it's not a problem, we are Empire after all, and you can trust us."
Thank you Empire for being one of the few remaining journalistic machines in the film industry to show integrity, and respect for both films and audiences, in this regard - for this, I salute you!
NB: As a side note, I have of course read the Hobbit many many times since childhood, so would not run the risk of having anything spoiled for me plot-wise, but I still did not read on, in case there was some info that ruined the film experience, as undoubtedly carefully drawn out and considered by Peter Jackson and his team. See now that there is a whole bunch of film making respect, by everyone involved. By Pete Jacko, by taking his time developing a book that he loves, knowing how beloved it is by the fans, into a film that will be worthy of this love - by Empire for respecting that certain information can ruin a viewers experience of a film, and that not everyone thrives on prior knowledge, and also being aware that a lot of people may not have read the books, so to warn of any potential spoilers very very carefully - and by me as a viewer, for not reading any spoilers even though I know the story very well, because I respect the film makers and everyone involved, and the journey that they wish to take the audience on, so I will be careful not to spoil that.
- Jolly well done everyone. A round of applause for us all there. We should be proud.
Now to add, you may think that I'm over-reacting and that I'm probably hormonally imbalanced- but I am neither, thank you. I may be a little sensitive to the issue of spoilers since I recently suffered a giant disasterous heartbreak with the Twilight movies - and before you start, yes I am an intelligent cogent human being, who is a sci fi, comedy, drama, general literary buff, fan and appreciator - and yes, I think Twilight is awesome. And unashamedly in part because of how much I have fallen in love with the sexy vampires (I grew up on Anne Rice books and Buffy, vampires are a part of my psyche as much as lego or cereal or public transport)
Anyway, when it first came out I decided to watch the films and read the books after (which already means I don't rate it anywhere as high as other adaptations such as Game of Thrones, but not quite as low as Vampire Diaries, the pilot of which I only watched because it immediately sucked so much energy out of me I was unable to reach for the remote)
I fell in hormonal innocent pseudo-teenage love with the first film, and by the end of the third film I was a full blown convert (Team Carlisle, since you asked). And so when the fourth installation, the penultimate movie, Breaking Dawn: Part 1, came out last November, we decided to take Pickled Lily for her birthday - she is a giant fan, and had read all the books before anyone had even heard of the words "R-Pats" - and so I booked our cinema tickets online, to make sure we had seats.
In booking tickets online (the Apollo Haymarket, if you must know. Great overlooked little cinema, comfy seats, great sound and pic quality, appalling website) - I clicked on Twilight, obviously, and up came a full screen poster of Twilight with a chunk of writing below that I assumed was information on timings/booking. It wasn't - it was a synopsis of the film. Fine - my eyes fluttered past nonchalantly, and in a split second, I had the entire franchise, the entire Twilight experience, ruined for me.
This synopsis had casually given away a GIANT piece of information about one of the characters, that once discovered, pretty much nullifies the entire journey they've taken you on previously, which deliberately cleverly twists and turns and keeps you guessing about the character development, and where the story ultimately is heading, and just how far the creator was willing to take her characters, and what are the repercussions of every possible choice..
In one sentence, one spoiler carelessly displayed, all of that was ruined.
I still can't believe it. I won't tell you what it is, as that would be contradictory madness, but suffice to say that it is on a par with the 'Luke, I Am Your Father' revelation (possibly the only 'giveaway' that I'm happy to discuss, as surely there's no-one in the world to whom that is a surprise!)
Anyway, said Twilight information should never have been in a synopsis to be put on public display in the first place - have a look through the synopses for Breaking Dawn: Part 1, I'm sure it's still on there, nice and easy to find.
It's almost as if it was written by someone who not only had never read the books or watched the films, but also didn't give a shit about them. Or, perhaps more forgivably, by someone who hated them.
Now it turns out that actually even if I hadn't discovered this crucial bit of information ahead of time, my Twilight experience would have been ruined anyway by the fucking appaaaaaallling quality of the film in every possible way, which I won't go into, to save you a good few pages of angry fan-ranting, save to say this: you gotta love a British audience, one moment in the script writing was just so appallingly stupid that half of the previously respectful, forgiving, appreciative 20s-30s audience could barely stifle a fit of the giggles - this was during the Rene-Esme-Renesme debacle, to those of you who have seen this giant-slap-in-the-face of a film, and managed to make it through without laughing/crying in desperation.
But regardless of the film's rubbishness and complete lack of integrity and transparently lazy scriptwriting and blatantly cynical sales-based advantage-taking, why-bother-with-quality-when-theyre-buying-the-merchandise, corporate bullshit fast-destroying-this-film-industry motives - *ahem*
Regardless of this, my main point is this: now what is the bloody point of being so bloody reckless with your synopses, film studios? It's bad enough you tell us most of the plot in the trailer, and take away whatever mystery and cult surrounding a film by shoving adverts and merchandise in our face as soon as you get a whiff that we, the general public, quite like something - but now you can't even be bothered to edit the synopses properly??
Especially when film critics, who have of course seen the film in advance of the general public, take so much effort carefully weaving their words to avoid giving away any plot points whilst still getting their opinions of the movie across - whilst you recklessly, carelessly spit out any information that looks good on a film poster, or the back of a dvd, with no sense of due diligence.
I kid you not, I now read any newspaper, magazine, online publication, with my eyes slightly squinted, just so that if my eyes flit across a film, a book, a tv show, or in fact anything that I like, I can look away immediately. In case my experience of it is accidentally destroyed. Because, in this cinematic world of sales-motivated teaser campaigns, and message boards, and obsessive information-collecting and currency, it would appear that the general media, along with the production companies, no longer give a shit about what, in essence, makes film such a powerful artistic medium: the 2 and a half hour journey between a storyteller and his/her eager recipient, the teller sharing his/her expression of beloved characters, world, ideas - with an eager, appreciative audience, ready and willing to be taken wherever the story may lead, and hopefully to be enchanted and capitvated, and transformed, along the way.
Anyway, what the hell am I rambling on about now - this was supposed to be a happy, celebratory post - and so it is, really!
So I will leave on my original happy note, which is this: Empire did a small thing today that signifies, to me at least, that there is still hope for the film culture media, and it lies in the small, well-meaning phrase "please think carefully before continuing"
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(On a personal note, perhaps in light of this, I should now forgive Empire for that fateful 2002 edition - the last Empire I ever bought, when they rated Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic a mere 3 out of 5 in the same publication that they awarded 5 out of 5 to Star Wars: The Phantom joke-of-a-film-that-made-me-wish-George-Lucas-had-died-before-he-had-a-chance-to-make-this-blasphemous-abomination Menace..
Ah who am I kidding, I'll be angry about that until the day I die. Both the film, and the rating. Ah the emotional ups and downs of being a film lover. An angry, weepy, delirious film lover.)
